Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
