Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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