you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
