This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
