My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
