I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
