I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
