apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
