Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
