I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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