I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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