i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
