Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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