Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
