...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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