ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
