Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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