We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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