I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
