puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
