I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
