how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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