i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
