You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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