Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
