She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
