Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
