Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have demons in me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
