My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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