Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
PANTIES FOUND
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
