he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
