smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
