Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
