Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
