and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
