if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i out mim tonsoeep
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