are you still at the devil's house?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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