My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
