I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
