so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
