It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
