Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
