take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
