Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
