I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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