"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
