woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I need to align my fucking chakras
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
