Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
