the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
