I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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