tell your sister to shave her snatch
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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