he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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