This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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